SETI @ Home Is Back

1. SETI had taken their radio telescope array off-line some time ago due to "lack of funds."
2. They announced at the time that they would be coming back online when their liquidity improved.
3. During that interim period, other researchers were discovering large numbers of potentially habitable planets in our "Milky Way" galaxy.
4. Now SETI is looking for home computer owners to donate CPU cycles to their SETI @ home program for analyzing the many terabytes of data they are once again collecting.

As noted in an earlier post, this timing seemed too convenient to be coincidental - planets being discovered while SETI held their arrays off-line. They were looking for funding, and have reportedly received nearly a quarter of a million dollars from thousands of donors, and it is interesting to see that one such donor was noted author, Larry Niven.
Why haven't the non-SETI scientists released the descriptions of any rings found around these worlds, or at least denied their existence?
Are any of the newly notable suns actually surrounded by Dyson Spheres? (or by a ring-shaped portion of one?)
Why are these details being kept out of the public reports of these discoveries?

We'll report more here when it becomes available. Our Area 51 observation post will be on full alert in the weeks to come.

Posted by Listener 43

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SETI and Timing
Pyramids and Satellites 
Who Is Using All That Water?

The Colonel and the Generals

1. KFC is ceasing operations in the island nation of Fiji.
2. KFC's claim is that the military government has stopped their importing of ingredients for its famous herbs and spices coating.
3. The government disputes that characterization, claiming it is waiting for "veterinary certification" of KFC's imports.
4. Elvis Silvestrini, of Fiji's biosecurity authority was quoted as saying, "We have been waiting for the veterinary certificate since early May [2011]. When this is provided, we'll be able to release the cartons."

Apparently, A. Person, the Colonel's relatively new Chief Chicken Officer has fallen down on the job. It seems clear from this series of facts and counter-facts that the Fiji government hasn't capitulated to the demands of KFC that they be allowed to import their standard vat-grown proteins. It is clear that no veterinary certification would be needed - nor valid - for herbs, spices, and the like; this must refer to the animal-like portion of the KFC product.

Neither the government of Fiji nor KFC has given any information regarding just how much of the vat-grown chicken-equivalent is being held up in the importation proceedings. We'll report back here when more information is available.

Posted by Listener 43

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The Colonel's New CCO
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Travels in Space and Time

Professor Du Shengwang at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology claims proof that a single photon obeys Einstein's theory of General Relativity. Expanding on this claim, Prof. Du asserts that this proves that time travel is impossible.

In essence, the good professor's claim is that the quantum behavior of light which his team has observed also confirms the wave behavior of light. He further asserts that because a photon cannot move faster than a photon, then neither can anything else.

First, it's clear that Prof. Du is only addressing time travel to the past with this claim, as we all travel through time at 60 sec/minute, absent any particular acceleration frame.
Secondly, it's also clear that Prof. Du is overreaching in his application of this "discovery" that photons move at the speed of light.

Consider the familiar twins paradox, where one is accelerated to a significant proper fraction of the speed of light and the other remains stationary during his twin's travels. When they are reunited, the returning twin will find that he has moved into his own future - more time will have elapsed on Earth (we'll assume that's the locale) than will have for him in his ship.
Observed, however, from the opposite viewpoint, the stationary twin - in a very real sense - will have traveled to his own past, as represented by his now-younger twin.
According to Einstein, it's all one which frame of reference we choose, so there's no real reason, other than convention, to choose only the future-ward time dilation.

We believe that at Groom Lake, government physicists are currently experimenting with just this sort of reference-frame reversal scenario in order to develop a faster than light drive.
If nothing else, there is always the Warp Drive outlined at Baylor University which addresses this precise thought experiment: they force the "ship" to remain stationary while forcing space itself to flow past at ftl speeds.

Posted by Procrustes 17

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The Colonel's New CCO

1. KFC has been selling vat-grown chicken-equivalent since receiving alien technology from the Air Force cooks at Area 51.
2. Far too many people know that KFC changed its name because they don't serve "Chicken" any more.
3. Health concerns are driving down the sales of Fried foods.
4. KFC is in a potential death spiral.

Given all these facts, it's not at all surprising that the KFC company has designated a new "Chief Chicken Officer" to train their cooks internally, as well as to be the face of the company to their potential customers.
We simply don't comment on mere suspicions, but this one is too obvious to ignore: the new CCO is apparnetly named A. Person, and is to be featured in training videos and possibly in television commercials as well.
Our guess - customers and employees will feel better if A. Person has told them that it's chicken and that it's been cooked in a real and / or healthy manner.

Stay tuned for further developments.

Posted by Listener 43

SETI and Timing

1. SETI took their array offline back in April - supposedly due to lack of funds.
2. Just at this time, astronomers were discovering vast numbers of habitable planets.
3. These planets are largely in our general galactic neighborhood.
4. SETI will be bringing their array back online shortly.

Why this timing? What could have been happening during this outage?
Clearly this must be a case of coordination rather than coincidence - the question is:
Who would benefit from such an orchestrated down-time?

Expect more revelations in the near future as our Area 51 observation post will be working around the clock as we seek the answers to the questions we don't dare ask with echelon always listening in.

Posted by Listener 43

The Ice Age is Coming, Baby!

1. All the latest information indicates that planet Earth is headed for another Ice Age:
   
   • Sunspot activity is down and declining - just google Maunder Minimum
   • Solar magnetic fields are declining in strength - by more than fifty gauss!
2. In Ice Ages past, there is evidence that earlier humans were able to move to non-glaciated areas by boat or walking or other means of transportation.
   
   • It's widely accepted that the Salutrean people sailed along the ice front across the North Atlantic.
   • They settled in Maryland and Virginia - avoiding the ice that covered all of Great Britain and so forth.
3. The Clovis people in North America were those Salutrean guys, and they got partially creamed by another mini-Ice Age.
   
   • Their descendents were the Folsom people, who learned to make spear tips and whatnot from their Clovis forebears.
   • The Folsom people found themselves nearly imprisoned by Ice down in New Mexico and such.
4. The big difference between them and us is:
   
   • They had lots of unoccupied and wide-open areas full of prey and berries for new homelands.
   • Where we gonna go? We already have all the good places filled, and only farmers know how to make food now, not normal people.
5.  When the Ice Age hits, ice skating on the Thames will only be fun for so long.
   
• Then it's fighting to keep the Polar Bears on the other side of Hadrian's Wall or the Watling Street. After not that much longer, it will be the Maginot line all over, baby! 
• Where can we get coffee when there's no place warm to grow it?
  GLOBAL CATASTROPHE!

All true facts are welcome - just look them up and share!

Posted by Procrustes 17

The Colonel and Area 51

1. Area 51 is where alien technology is housed.
2. Area 51 has a giant KFC logo in the desert.
3. KFC had to change its name because they don't sell chicken any more.

So just what are they selling at KFC?
Sources indicate that it's now vat-grown "chicken" units, genetically engineered to look like pieces cut from actual terrestrial chickens, but cheaper, easier to distribute, store, and fry.

It all makes sense, and there's no way to prove or disprove it, so it must be true.

Posted by Listener 43