Wednesday, July 1, 2015

They Can't Have It Both Ways!

  1. Scientists tell us that the dinosaurs were wiped out (pun intended?!) by an asteroid strike that created the Caribbean Sea. [viz. the Alvarez Hypothesis]
  2. Scientists used to tell us that the Caribbean Sea is where Spain (and Portugal - all of the Iberian Peninsula, in fact) used to fit before Pangaea split up and continental drift created the Atlantic Ocean. [viz. the Caribbean and Iberia] (This theory had the added benefit of explaining why Mexicans speak Spanish rather than English.)
  3. Despite the supposed asteroid strike, Spain seems to have existed throughout history, rather than having been pummeled out of existence by an interplanetary interloper.
Is this just the result of multiple, competing theories? Is it simply something in the same vein as "are Sasquatch and Yeti related or are they the same creature?" or "was Zeus and alien pretending to be a god, or was he a man pretending to be an alien?" While that is certainly a possible explanation, there is almost certainly something much more sinister at work here.

What purpose could be served by claiming that the Atlantic is expanding while the Pacific is shrinking?
What purpose could be served by claiming that huge rocks from space crash to Earth and kill nearly all life?
Could it be something as obvious as wanting to drive a wedge between the United States and her traditional European allies while causing a cozying up between the States and the Asian Pacific Rim nations?
Or ... could it be something far more troubling, something far more devious?
Is it aimed at driving us to cooperate with the Japanese scientists working to add color genetically to transparent worms even as our own scientists work feverishly to turn human beings transparent?

There isn't enough evidence to come down firmly on just one of these possible explanations, but we will continue to investigate, and will report back as further information becomes available.

Posted by Listener 43

Friday, February 27, 2015

Apple's Surprise Announcement

Oh great, even without Jobs being there to insert his reality distortion field into the announcements of the upcoming announcement to be announced on March 9th the interwebs are going at least gaga, if not worse.

Just so you don't have to wait more than a week to find out just what those secretive geniuses at the infinite loop (Fruit Lops, anyone?) are going to say, here are the actual facts as we now know them.

Those amazing innovators aren't going to announce a new watch (that was Pebble, did you miss it, bub?). They aren't going to announce a car or truck (Tesla and Google are already busy trying to dismantle the recently-rescued rusty three don't you know). They aren't even going to announce a new iPhone, iPad, or a new name for Siri.

No, they seem to be channeling Luther Burbank rather than Irving Cupertino (or whatever his name really was). After a decades-long program of grafting and cloning, Apple scientists have actually succeeded in creating miniature (or bonsai) versions of the original Macintosh apple tree - and they claim these miniature trees (shrubs?) actually bear full-size fruit. The first successful tree-let was named LISA - Living In-Situ Apple-producer. I kid you not - these guys are brilliant (just ask them).

Now you can belly up to the genius bar and have a glass of hard apple cider while you wait for the indentured hipster to replace the shattered glass in your iPhone.

Yes, the mighty have fallen, folks. Apple is reduced to producing apples.

Posted by Gyro Gearloose

Monday, August 4, 2014

The Threat of Transparency - RE-UPDATED!!

Perhaps you recall this post from some time back?

The Threat of Transparency

  1. Scientists have added colors to worms through genetic coding.
  2. There may well be plans by governments and law enforcement agencies to use these colors as markers and tracking systems for criminals and other citizens.
  3. Japanese scientists at RIKEN have found a way to make human tissue transparent.

Treating biological tissues with the newly discovered reagent renders it transparent, allowing the underlying structures to be easily examined.
Administering the next generation of this reagent intravenously is expected to render all parts of the treated subject equally transparent.
Work is underway on an antidote to this reagent, and the word is that it's being called a deagent. It seems clear that a transparent man could be a very effective spy, especially when that deagent is available to restore his opacity. The one sticking point seems to be a way of retaining some level of opacity in the retinas, to allow for vision, while still reducing the appearance of floating pink discs.

When more information becomes available, we'll report back here.

Posted by Listener 43

Well, they're at it again. Scientists at Cal Tech have created a transparent mouse - complete with transparent organs! (Why that is supplied as extra information is a bit hard to
 understand. If they're transparent, then their organs must be as well, no?)
Now all we need is for Putin to steal this technology and Ukraine won't be the only soon-to-be-former nation in his sights.

Posted by Listener 43

It would appear that there has been some biological leakage from one of these experimental laboratories!

Today amphibians, tomorrow higher chordates, next week primates? Science marches on to the drumbeat of despots and lunatics. Can't you see it? Hordes of transparent amphibian soldiers making their way through the marshes and estuaries of the Baltic to retake Estonia et al? No. You can't see it because they're transparent.

When we have more information, we'll report back here again.

Posted by Listener 43

Related Posts:

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Dinosaurs, Birds, and Aussies? - UPDATED

  1. Scientists from Emory University in Georgia (USA) claim to have found bird fossils in Australia.
  2. They claim these fossils are contemporary with others of standard dinosaurs.
  3. They further claim that these fossils are evidence of birds having landed in soft rock or sand which then hardened, retaining the "footprints" of the purported avians.
How reasonable is it to believe that a bunch of guys from Georgia would take a trip to Australia and end up finding fossilized bird footprints at the beach? Australia (and New Zealand, a similar and nearby island nation) are home to flightless birds such as the emu and the kiwi, and these "scientists" want us to believe they've found tracks that are "remarkably similar to those in the sands and muds of the Georgia coast, made daily by the herons, egrets, and shorebirds."

When will these scientists release the results of the soil composition tests?
When will they release full-size castings of the "feet" which supposedly made these tracks?
When will they admit that birds large enough to have left these tracks would have left other evidence as well?

It seems more likely that these are either much more recent tracks of current era birds, or that these are actually the tracks of the beings who taught the Australian Aboriginal peoples to make the strange, Nazca-like figures in the deserts of the island continent. Why no mention of either of these much more likely, Occam-approved possibilities? Perhaps government funding is involved, and dinosaur-age birds are on the green-lighted list, while Aboriginal Alien Encounters are not to be publicized!

We'll continue to investigate and report back when we have even more facts.

Now we hear that a new species of humpback dolphin has been identified off the coasts of Australia (no word on whether they sport near New Zealand at this point). See here for the detailed report:
Can we really be expected to believe that this is purely a coincidence?
Do they really think us that gullible?
Stay tuned for more updates as they become available.

Posted by Listener 43

Related Posts:

The Colonel and Area 51
SETI and Timing
Pyramids and Satellites
Dynamite and Denial
Who Is Using All That Water?
Radiation and Crop Circles
Nazca Lines and Antimatter
SETI @ Home Is Back
Russians, Asteroids, and Mars
Water, Mars, Saturn, and Technocrats
Are Russian Space Troubles From Beyond Mars?
More Mars-Related Deception
Mars and Water - Again!
Ages In Chaos?
Successful SETI Experiment!
Mutant Monkey Flowers And Triffids
NASA, Mars, and Nazca Lines

Friday, May 10, 2013

"Learn How It's Done."

“…I think if you mention the name Ted Cruz to other Senators, you just get titanic oceans of eye-rolling, because you’re a freshman, you don’t go in and take over hearings. You, like, hang around and learn how it’s done.”
-  New York Times Columnist David Brooks, 4/21/13
The way this reads might sound reasonable to some; but given the actual context, it's clear that Mr. Brooks is really saying something more like this:
"Voters who are foolish enough to vote for someone who is not an incumbent don't deserve to be represented in the Senate."

As my friend, Lewis Cannon, might well say, "This fellow needs a good thrashing."

Posted by Pygmalion 56

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Knives don't kill people, people do.

I have to believe that I'm not the only one who heard about the mass stabbing in Texas and thought, "Oh great, now they're going to come for our cutlery."

I'm just waiting for the first story telling how this maniac bought his knife at an unregulated knife show where there was no background check and no waiting period before he could take his knife home, or that he failed to register the knife with his local sheriff, or something insane like that.

I find it totally unconscionable that our rulers elected representatives have yet to propose a new raft of knife regulations. Don't they care? What about the children?

Posted by Lewis Cannon

Related Posts:
Securing the Border
Raise Taxes Or The Old Lady Gets It!
They Know What's Good For Us?!?!?
Nosy Eurocrats
The FBI Wants Your Kids' Vitals
Think of the Children
Won't Someone Think Of The Families?!
Not Fast, But Furious!
Facing The Ugly Truth
The Straw That Turns The Camel's Stomach?
Ponzi Schmonzi
Won't Someone Think of the Voters!?

Monday, March 11, 2013

Tales from the Senate

Senior Senator from Michigan, Carl Levin, has announced that he won't be running for re-election when his term is up in two years.
“I love representing the people of Michigan in the U.S. Senate and fighting for the things that I believe are important to them,” he said. “As Barbara and I struggled with the question of whether I should run again, we focused on our belief that our country is at a crossroads that will determine our economic health and security for decades to come. We decided that I can best serve my state and nation by concentrating in the next two years on the challenging issues before us that I am in a position to help address; in other words, by doing my job without the distraction of campaigning for re-election.
Perhaps many of us took that to mean that it's a distraction to campaign for re-election, despite the fact that that appears to be exactly the job to which these folks believe themselves to have been elected.
In fact, the most likely "translation" or parsing of that phrase would be:
"I want to do all the things I've wanted to do, but couldn't get a vote from my constituents because they don't want me to do it."

This fellow will bear watching. He seems to have some obfuscatory skills.

Posted by Pygmalion 56